We were fortunate in that we had time to talk, share, and spend time together, and so it was just a few days after my 65th birthday that Brian died. The irony didn't escape me, as 65 is often thought of as the age to retire. Having been together for over 43 years, I suddenly found myself a single person.
Fast forward to now, some eight years later, and I can tell you that life continues to be enjoyable, adventurous, challenging and exciting. In those eight years I rediscovered who I was without the support of my partner and friend. I travelled a little in my first year and challenged myself by starting some art classes. I have always loved colour, and I can paint beautifully in my head, but somehow it never quite translated onto paper. Those art classes gave me enjoyment, a sense of community, new relationships, and a realisation that I didn't have to be good at everything to enjoy it.
I became more adventurous, visiting my son and daughter-in-law in Portugal and discovering Lisbon on my own: walking the hills, experiencing what it was like to be in a city I didn't know, in a language I didn't understand.
My visits to Portugal continued, and when they bought a quinta, I moved out temporarily to help them decorate and work the land. I discovered I could prune grapevines, and that I loved being out on the land. In the meantime, at 66, I started an MSc in Positive Psychology, continuing my studies online from Portugal through the Covid lockdown. I graduated with a distinction at 68.
In my late sixties, I decided to sell my house in the UK and buy a property in a small village some twenty minutes from my son. I'd begun learning Portuguese, and somehow managed to earn my A1/A2 Portuguese language certificate through the government course.
Not content with this, I continued to work on the Living Life Well model, which had been part of my dissertation, drawing on my coaching experience, my soft skills and my communication skills, to write the book I wish I'd had in my late fifties and sixties, using everything I'd learned to build a system that supports those of us in the second stage of life to live it as well as we can, within whatever confines we find ourselves in.
I'm still working on my Portuguese, and my next adventure is to bring together a group of people who want to spend five days learning with and from each other, using the Living Life Well model, so that they can continue to age intentionally.